Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Sad Goodbye

My lovely friends,

My grandad passed away yesterday evening. He had been sick for quite some time and it seemed that with each time he had to stay in the hospital a piece of him went away. A proud man who refused to accept that he was sick. From the outside, he wasn't the same man that I used to know, but when he smiled or made jokes, I know he was still the same man on the inside.

It's strange, I had a strong feeling to see him yesterday and when I did, it was a shock to see how thin he had become in such a short amount of time. He truly was just a shell of the man he used to be. I knew he wouldn't be around for much longer, you could see how tired he was of fighting for his life. Shortly after we left, my dad got a call that things gotten worse and we head back. He became even thinner in the 2 hours that I hadn't seen him. It's bizarre. To see him, lying there, so silent, sick, but peaceful, was so surreal.

I'm grateful that he didn't suffer and when I was in the hospital, it was difficult. A part of me wanted to run away of all the sadness, another part of me wanted to stay. To hear the nurse say, that he's dying, I couldn't believe it. To hear the words 'He's gone'...I have no words to describe how that felt.



My mind is filled with memories, My heart is filled with love.
And even though my Soul is filled with tears, I know that with time it will get better.
He is in a better place now and I know he is out there, somewhere.
Watching over me and my family.


I need some time to give this space. I'll be back soon and then I shall announce the winner of the giveaway ^_^. As always, thanks for sticking with me on my journey and to the ones who already knew about my grandad, thank so so much for your love & support. It means the world to me!

xoxoxo
Posted by TJ Lubrano at 10:06 PM
Labels: , , , , ,

37 comments:

  1. Edwina@FASHION+ARTJune 1, 2011 at 10:12 PM

    I'm so sorry TJ. It's hard to say goodbye. Take all the time you need. We'll be here when you get back.

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  2. PamelaJune 1, 2011 at 10:13 PM

    I'm so sorry. I lost my grandmother in October and know how difficult it is. You're in my thoughts,
    Pamela
    xoxoxo

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  3. AnonymousJune 1, 2011 at 10:16 PM

    So sorry to hear about it TJ. :|

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  4. AnonymousJune 1, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    Gecondoleerd en heel veel sterkte!

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  5. UnknownJune 1, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    What a beautiful painting, TJ - I think it really captures your love and heartbreak.

    Try to take comfort in the fact that he's no longer in pain, and that he's in a better place than we are.

    BIG HUGS

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  6. Rachel HoytJune 1, 2011 at 11:08 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I still miss my grandpa. I'm glad he's no longer in pain and sure he is smiling down on you from the sky. xo

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  7. crpittJune 1, 2011 at 11:19 PM

    Love the painting, especially her expression and the candle. Without words you manage to express so much and when you do add words it just makes it all the more poignant.

    I raise a glass to Opa and hope he is busting out some cool dance moves :) :) :) :) :)

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  8. Jessica MJune 2, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. My prayers will be with you and your family. It's important to have time to just absorb everything in without distractions. Take the time you need, we will be here waiting for your wonderful thoughts and art when you come back.

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  9. BongoJune 2, 2011 at 2:53 AM

    Awww I'm so sorry ...Hugs from afar for you...as always...XOXOXO

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  10. Heather FonsecaJune 2, 2011 at 6:40 AM

    Sorry TJ. Take your time. We'll all be here waiting for you.

    Lots of hugs from afar.
    Heather

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  11. HarikumarJune 2, 2011 at 7:11 AM

    Sorry for your loss TJ :(

    We 'll be waiting for you .

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  12. Corinne RodriguesJune 2, 2011 at 9:17 AM

    TJ - My sincere condolences....You seem to have had a special relationship with your Grandpa. Praying that you find comfort....

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  13. Cher DuncombeJune 2, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    TJ, your painting is a beautiful tribute to your granddad. He is smiling at you from above, and we are all here to offer you a million hugs and warmth to soothe your pain. We will wait for you, Sweet TJ.

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  14. RimlyJune 2, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Tj sorry to hear about your Grandfather but like you said it will take a while to get used to not having him around except in your heart.Will look forward to more from you once you get back.

    http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.com/2011/06/story-of-many.html

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  15. alejandro guzmanJune 2, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    Keep the memories as they are your window to you grandpapa.

    Love A

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  16. Papercut DollJune 2, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Oh TJ I'm really sorry for your loss. I know when my Grandad got Alzheimer's it was so difficult for me and even more difficult for him in those moments of recognition to see such a great man lose his mind and his very being, but when he finally soared to a better more comfortable and peaceful place I knew that as much as I didn't want him to leave me, he was where he needed to be and he would always be with me and I believe that of your Granddad too. Much love x

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  17. Larry LewisJune 2, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    i'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family my Condolences.

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  18. Elizabeth Rose StantonJune 2, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I send you my heartfelt condolences. He will always be with you in some way. Take comfort.

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  19. hevnJune 2, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    Oh TJ, I'm so sorry for your lost!! Reading your post made me feel like hugging you and crying together. Really..

    I'm so sorry but I'm glad he's in a better place now and no longer in pain or anything. You should be proud that you have memories of him and that you knew him.

    My condolences to your family on your loss, gorgeous, I hope you'll feel better soon and know that your grandpa must be happy that everyone loved him so much.

    p.s: The drawing is absolutely Beautiful with the capital B!

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  20. Lana GramlichJune 2, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    I'm so sorry, hon. My thoughts are with you and yours, of course.

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  21. illustration poetryJune 3, 2011 at 7:36 AM

    :((
    oh im so sorry for your loss dearest Pretty TJ.
    im sending thoughts and prayers for you and your family ♥


    hugs kisses

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  22. illustration poetryJune 3, 2011 at 7:44 AM

    sorry, typo error, i meant to say:
    the drawing is very touching, i can feel the sadness... you drew from the heart.

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  23. CathyJune 3, 2011 at 7:44 PM

    I am so sorry sweetie! It is so hard to let go of someone so kind!

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  24. Sh@sJune 6, 2011 at 6:18 PM

    So sorry to hear that. My heartfelt condolences to you. May his soul rest in peace.

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  25. Jenn BowerJune 6, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    I have been away from the computer and on vacation. So sorry to come back and read this news. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  26. JaneneJune 7, 2011 at 3:34 PM

    TJ,
    I'm so sorry to hear. If your grandpa was anything like you, he was one special man, indeed. I'm reaching out over the internet to give you a big *HUG*.

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  27. FlameheartJune 7, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    Sorry to hear about that TJ. It's always hard to lose a loved one. I'm sure he is watching over you with love.

    Hugs and cyber-goodwill:)
    xoxoxo

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  28. UnknownJune 8, 2011 at 7:08 AM

    TJ, I'm sorry to hear the sad news. My sincere condolences. My wife's grandmother died last Wednesday and we've been preparing for her funeral this Friday. Im actually designing the funeral program. But I have to say this piece is my favorite of your event works. Youve injected so much emotion into it and it makes the biggest difference. I wish you and your family the very best. Thanks for sharing such a personal story. Very proud of you.

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  29. SamJJune 8, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    so sorry to hear this TJ xxx((Hugs))

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  30. nothingprofoundJune 8, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    TJ-I can only add my voice to the chorus of well-wishers. I'm sure your grandfather had a rich and wonderful life and left you with many lovely memories.

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  31. Its Dita!^^June 9, 2011 at 1:26 PM

    oh I am sooo late checking your latest blog post..I didn't know your grandpa have passed away, truly sorry for your lost dear TJ. I know how it feels loosing people we love but die is part of living creature and everything we have here in this world just deposit from God and I agree he is in a better place place now.Hope u feeling better soon.

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  32. japi pipolJune 9, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    i'm so sorry about your lost, a big huge for you

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  33. AntonyJune 9, 2011 at 9:04 PM

    Lots of hugs TJ.

    I am sorry to know you're hurting. What you said here is filled with wisdom of someone who must have a wise hat

    "My mind is filled with memories, My heart is filled with love.
    And even though my Soul is filled with tears, I know that with time it will get better.
    He is in a better place now and I know he is out there, somewhere.
    Watching over me and my family."

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  34. TJ LubranoJune 10, 2011 at 2:00 AM

    Hey everyone! I just wanted to say

    THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!

    Really. I read all of your comments several times last week. Especially when things were a bit more difficult. They make me smile and happy. I seriously couldn't ask for better support and I'm grateful for the time you take to visit my blog & ramblings. And thankful, that you guys are there ^_^. You are all AWESOME!

    Xoxoxoxox

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  35. Lauren KJune 12, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    So sorry to hear about your loss TJ. My nonno died a few years back from lung cancer and I can really relate to what you have said here. Your drawing is a beautiful and bittersweet tribute to the pain of saying goodbye to someone who you love dearly. I wish you well in such a difficult and sad time.

    Much love,

    Lauren K

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  36. Beer Drinker RobJune 13, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Hi Tahira.

    I guess I'm a little late finding out your sad news, but it seems you are approaching it with an awesome attitude. Your memories will never be gone. Sorry for your loss.

    Rob

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  37. TJ LubranoJune 14, 2011 at 12:59 AM

    Oh thanks so much Lauren & Rob! You are both so kind ^_^.

    Lauren, so sorry for your loss as well. These things will never be easy :(. Rob, it's okay! The memories will be with me forever indeed.

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